Have you heard that some narcissists screen every one of their potential victims?
In this post, I’ll try to discuss when and how they do it.
If you come across someone who is a narcissist in a possible relationship, you’ll follow the usual procedure and attempt to get to know the new person. And it’s typical for the narcissist to do this as well. But, at this time, the narcissist may be testing the person you know nothing about.
Narcissists do this as soon as the first time you begin to talk to them, whether either in person is as well online, and the worst part is getting to realize that you appear innocent. Narcs will test you by looking for specific characteristics. They have a particular person they prefer to focus on.
They seek enthusiastic, extraordinarily creative people and, most importantly, have plenty of empathy. That’s why kindness can be among the best of the crop regarding what the narcissist is searching for. However, they are also looking for other qualities.
I’ve covered the most critical aspects that predators seek in their victims.
The traits that narcissists seek:
1. A Very Weak “Broken Person”
They’re seeking out someone who displays many weaknesses. Narcissists are attracted to those who have been quoted without being quoted. They want to know how you’ve been victimized in the past or if you’ve been the victim of violence. Are you experiencing parental issues? Also referred to as father or mother, problems have been involved in many negative relationships. They’re also interested in what you say regarding your former partner. What is the reason they are looking at all of this information? It’s because breaking again or quoting without attribution is likely to make you extremely sensitive, and even more critical could make you an excellent person to be around.
The things I’ve mentioned above can dramatically reduce your self-esteem. And the lower your self-esteem is, the more likely you will be to please the narcissist, and thus an even better source of satisfaction. This means it’s easier to manage your behavior. You’ve had bad relationships in the past, and you’re likely to repeat the same mistake, and perhaps they’ll discover that you cannot rely on your parents. Maybe there’s a problem. This means that you aren’t going to quit and go to your parent’s house, or perhaps there aren’t many people around you. You’re alone and don’t have to. It’s straightforward for them to abuse them, and you won’t have to make an enormous effort to destroy your heart because it could already be shattered.
2. A Very Dependable “Good Old Reliable Person”
They are looking for someone extremely reliable, which is obvious. They want someone who they can count on for many things. One they can trust for money and the attention from the sexual side. When they aren’t able to obtain everything from one person, that’s the time to start receiving more than one, which is why you will often have multiple sources of supply since only one is worth the money. Only one is a fan of having a sexual relationship with her, and one has more time with them than the other. They expect you to be trustworthy, mainly by having a home, a decent job, or even an automobile.
Most reliable people are helpful, and that’s also the nature of an empathetic individual. But what’s the most interesting is those who are trustworthy and compassionate, and I’m sure they have that hint of perfection. They need help but cannot help by quoting and not always quoting in an ideal way. In this case, I will take myself as an instance because I’ve just started my identity. They don’t seem to possess any cash. He said this to me but never asked me for anything in return. And if I did everything I could help him, only to get a bit depressed when I didn’t receive anything, he’d try to be able to remind me that he’s never. He did not ask for anything other than that, as I stated that he’d ensure I knew the truth that he had no money, but he did not request anything. He knew that I could trust him and that I’d be coming to aid him. I’m reliable and friendly, and I’ll be there to rescue the situation.
Since I was a perfectionist, I gave him one hundred dollars even when he informed me that his rent was over fifty bucks. I needed to be more helpful, and I needed to be perfect to help him. I had to impress him; I had to prove to him that I was able to count on him. This instance of perfectionism applies to those of us who may not agree with everyone else but for most of us.
3. Someone Who Takes All The Responsibility “Blame”
Narcissists are looking for someone who can be accountable for their actions and want someone who will be responsible for the narcissist’s actions. Some narcissists cannot accept responsibility. Therefore they’re looking for those who can do the job for both. They would like to know when you’re wrong and also when you make mistakes because they’d love to blame you for your actions. However, they want you to shoulder the blame when they behave unintentionally, even though they’re proud of you for doing your job. Therefore, they’ll blame you regardless of the person acting in a way that isn’t right.
4. Someone With An Above Average “Brain” IQ
You’re not alone. I’ve seen many people who have been in love with narcissists and believe they are stupid. However, narcissists look for people who have above-average intelligence. They’re looking for people with a high level of intelligence. Think of it in this manner. Would you like to be with dolls? You don’t, or your Narcissists. They’re looking for those committed to their jobs or particular hobbies, or perhaps you’re a pro in one or more areas. They’re looking for people who concentrate on design and who can get things completed.
So, I’m going to add this to the blog with a warning to stop worrying about being stupid, Okay? Since I hear it often, I’m just so dumb I’m embarrassed and ashamed. Stop the cycle. The reason you are to be a narcissist is that you’re not. Therefore, stop.
5. Attractive Person “Looking”
It’s all in the eyes of the beholder. Your narcissist is with you because you were drawn to him before you spoke to someone you first met. If the narcissist doesn’t have a sexual attraction towards you, particularly considering what we know about narcissists with sex and how many are sexually forced. They wouldn’t have pursued you at all in the first place. They want someone attractive to them at the very minimum.
6. Whoever doubts his “unworthy” entitlement.
They would like someone to doubt their worth. It is with the first one, the person who is broken. If you’ve been victims of abuse or have issues with their parenting, the situation you are in is, as I’ve said, a negative impact on your self-esteem. When this develops over time, you’ll begin to doubt your value as a human being. You feel ashamed of yourself. That’s precisely my experience. I’ve been rejected by a guy I believed was interested in me. But clearly, he was not. In essence, I was searching for someone to improve my self-esteem. I was seeking someone who could see some value in me since I couldn’t find this in myself at that time. Before that, I realized that boosting confidence in myself and building my self-esteem was my responsibility, and I was expecting someone else to take care of it. And NARC flourished and brought me attention and encouragement, but in my mind was the feeling like, “Oh my God, it’s so cool” Of obviously, we weren’t aware of this at the time; however, in my head, I was thinking, I’m so unpopular, useless and useless But it’s so cool, and I must be loyal to him regardless. And from the beginning, it’s been instilled within my head, and I must keep him in my life because I’m a fuckup and do not deserve anything.
Tell me in the comments which of these characteristics you possess or had in the past and which traits you believe my narcissist picked regarding you. Which do you think a narcissist would have targeted you for?
They can resolve all six issues by engaging and becoming acquainted with you. They will be able to figure out the majority of these things without talking to you. Dating online is a massive business. Narcissists are now flocking to these sites for dating and these dating apps and are searching for people who, despite having to speak to you, do not even need to contact you at the moment. They’re looking for those with photos or profiles in these apps. Also, they are using these websites to appear to be self-defeating. Narcs are targeting people who have self-esteem issues.
Does it reveal an abundance of skin? Have I done a poor job of covering the wrinkles that were not evident? Do you have millions of photos of all the incredible things you accomplish? You’re not lying. It makes you appear like you need attention. When a narcissist discovers that he’s been underpaid, they are aware of a situation that makes her self-esteem somewhat low. You’ve created an image of yourself in which you’re something isn’t, and narcissists take advantage of the image.
Another major one is, do you plan to post photos of yourself naked? No, it would help if you didn’t do it. It’s an indication that you’re confident in yourself is getting low. Sending nude pictures is a method of control. They don’t care about how you appear without clothing.
This is a short warning regarding internet pornography. There’s no need for naked photos of you. They will attempt this nonsense where I’m interested and believe that I am in love with you and am concerned about you. I’m just interested in seeing you. But don’t be in over it. This is a method of control. They need to know whether you’ll or not. It also gives them an understanding of the degree of control over you. Also, don’t act like trash and don’t do it because they’ll share the information with all they know. But all the rest of us isn’t.
Narcs can assess your performance in many other ways before speaking to you. If you appear to be slightly confident and comfortable with your self-esteem and that it’s just at the level it ought to be, and you’re doing things in this manner, they won’t cause any trouble. Keep in mind that they don’t like people with standards.
There aren’t any people in the world who would want you to compromise your standards are those who worry that they won’t be capable of meeting their standards! Be aware and not do those trivial things. Instead, be happy, confident with your manner of conduct, polite, warm, and then move on. Keep in mind, if you’d like to write on specific subjects, all you need to send me a message in the comments section because I’ve got more information on dating following abuse by narcissists and similar issues.
The dangers these predators placed us in is a traumatic situation; for many of us, it’s been life-altering. However, that does not mean that we must take it all in and not be able to see any positive results. We need to reflect on these things, think back to the time we were so cozy in the frenzies, and think about how they wanted us by testing us. As the saying goes, this information is valuable for us to keep in mind for recovery and to continue forward. It would help if you remembered where you came from to know where you’re heading.