How to Get Rid of a Narcissist. 11 Signs That You Are Dating One

A narcissistic personality disorder is not self-confidence or self-indulgence. If someone posts too many selfies, floppy photos on their dating profile, or talks about themselves constantly on first dates, we may consider them narcissists. Rebecca Wheeler, LMHC, licensed therapist, says that it stems from gross selfishness at others’ expense and an inability to think about other people’s feelings.

Like many personality and mental disorders, NPD is not a one-size-fits-all problem. “Narcissism can be seen as a spectrum,” Dr. Fran Walfish (author of “The Self-Aware Parent”), a Beverly Hills family and relationship psychotherapist. However, even if you know the “official” criteria for diagnosing narcissism, identifying one is not always easy, especially if they are romantically involved. It is often impossible to determine if someone has NPD without a qualified expert diagnosis.

If someone isn’t sure if they are dating a narcissist or not, they won’t ask, “Does she or he have NPD?” Instead, they will question whether the way they are being treated is sustainable and safe. Do not try to diagnose your speaking partner. Keep reading to find out more about your relationship. If your health is at risk, you may have come because you were concerned. We will advise you on handling these symptoms if you believe they are true.

1. They were initially very charming.

It all began with a fairytale. It could have been that they called you a lot or said that they loved your first month. This is what experts call “heart bombing.”

“Narcissists believe only private individuals can understand them,” Nidra Glover Trap LCSW, founder and CEO of Kaleidoscope Counselling in Charlotte, North Carolina, states.

If you disappoint them, they’ll turn against you. Tawab says that you will often not know what you did. The author states that “how narcissists treat you or turn on you has absolutely nothing to do about you” and that it all depends on their beliefs.

2. They are the talk of the town, displaying their awesomeness.

Jacqueline Kroll, LCSW, Mind Regeneration Therapy psychotherapist, says that Narcissists love to brag about their accomplishments and successes. They believe they are more intelligent and vital than others, which helps them project confidence.

Dr. Angela Grace (Ph.D.), MA, BFA and BEd, Clinical psychologist, says that narcissists also use these anecdotes to show off their achievements and talents and attract admiration.

3. They will thrive on your praise.

Narcissists may appear very confident. Tawab says that most people with NPD have low self-esteem. She says, “They need lots of praise, and if they don’t get it, they’ll look for it.” They keep looking at you and expecting you to compliment their work.

Narcissists often rely on others – typically empaths – to help them feel empowered and have self-worth. Sherine Picard, LMFT, says that because of their low self-esteem, they are easily overlooked, which makes them more dependent on others for compliments.”

4. Devoid of sympathy

Walfish says that one of the most apparent characteristics of a narcissist is their inability to empathize with others and to understand what they are doing. Narcissists don’t get emotions and can’t make you feel validated, acknowledged, understood, or validated.

Can your spouse tell if your spouse has been having a bad day at work, if your best friend is fighting with you, or if your parents are fighting? Is she annoyed when you express your sadness and anger? Walfish says that the inability of a narcissist to empathize or even empathize is a significant reason for the failure of many, or all, relationships, romantic or not.

5. They don’t have (or haven’t had) long-term friendships.

Most narcissists won’t have long-term relationships with anyone. You will see that their relationships are a mix of ordinary friends, trash-talking coworkers, and enemies. They will also criticize your efforts to spend more time with friends. You might be accused of not spending enough time with your friends. They may also make you feel guilty for socializing with friends.

6. They always annoy you.

At first, it may have appeared that he was laughing… but then it became boring or repetitive. Everything you do, from the clothes you wear to the people you spend time with to the TV you watch, becomes a problem.

Picard states, “They will frustrate and call you names and tell you not-so-funny jokes.” Picard says, “Their goal is to lower the self-esteem of others to promote themselves because it makes them feel powerful.”

Listening to their opinions only reinforces them. Picard states that the narcissist loves the thrill of getting a response. It shows them they can affect another person’s emotions.

7. They will try to trick you.

Narcissists often resort to gaslighting as a form of emotional abuse. Narcissists can tell lies, falsely accuse others, misrepresent facts and eventually deceive you.

These are signs that gaslighting is happening:

  • You’re not the same person as you were before.
  • You feel more stressed out and insecure now than ever before.
  • It’s easy to wonder if you’re hypersensitive.
  • It’s easy to get the feeling that everything you do is wrong.
  • You can still blame yourself when things go wrong.
  • You often apologize.
  • It is always a question whether your partner’s reaction to you is acceptable.
  • You can justifiably justify the actions of your partner.

8. They move back and forth, which describes the relationship.

There are many reasons that someone might refuse to define their relationship. You might be polygamous, have decided to be friends with benefits, or keep things casual. If your partner refuses to commit or shows any of these signs, it’s a red alert.

Narcissists will expect you to treat them like friends so they can enjoy the personal, mental, and sexual benefits of being with you.

9. They believe they are always right and never apologize.

It seems futile to fight the narcissist. Tawab states, “With a Narcissist, there is no arguing or compromise because they are always right.” They will not see the dispute as a disagreement. You will only be able to see it if they give you some wisdom. Picard suggests that you may be dating someone who is a narcissist if you are not comfortable with your partner.

  • Is it possible not to notice you?
  • You won’t understand
  • He refuses responsibility for his part in the problem
  • Never attempt to make a deal

10. They panic if you try to end your relationship with them

If you don’t back down, the narcissist will work harder to keep your life full of them. They can bomb you right away. Picard states that they will tell you what you want to hear to convince you that they have changed. They will eventually prove that they have not changed. Narcissists often end up in sexy, on-and-off relationships with their partners before finding a new partner.

11. They attack them when you convince them that they’re over.

Picard claims they will make it their business to hurt you if you want to end the relationship. Their pride was so damaged that they felt resentful towards anyone who had “offended” them. It is their fault. She adds, “That includes the separation.”

What’s the outcome? They can smear you to save face. They can instead start dating someone else immediately to make you jealous. This will help them heal their ego. They may also try to take over your friends. Al-Tawab says that they value a good reputation and will protect it from anyone or anything.

How to end a relationship that a narcissist dominates

  • Remember that you are worthy of more.
  • Your bond with your companions will be strengthened.
  • Make sure you have a network of family and friends who will help you remember the real things.
  • Encourage your partner to go to counseling.
  • Book an appointment with a therapist.