These Signs of a Toxic Marriage Look Normal, But They Are Not

You may see signs in your marriage that appear normal. These signs can be a sign that your marriage is toxic.

You look at other marriages and feel your marriage is similar. Yet, you get up each morning wondering where you made a mistake.

No one can give us a handbook when we get married. You don’t get step-by-step instructions to help you match your partner.

Instead, we’re being thrown into something new and expected to find all the answers and live in perpetual happiness.

You are probably not surprised to find yourself in this situation.

Let me help.

Although it may look normal, there are warning signs that a toxic marriage is possible.


Contempt can be defined as the feeling that someone is being considered or despised.

Because contempt is easy to explain, it may be hard to identify. It was either something you did not deserve or it was nursing. These excuses are often used as justifications for contempt.

Consider your interactions with your husband. Do you feel any contempt? Is there any contempt? Are you able to talk with one another? Are your eyes rolling when your partner attempts to stir up a point?

Contempt is the first sign of a toxic marriage. If people treat each other with contempt, they destroy their relationship. Respect is the only thing that matters.


Fighting in marriages is perfectly normal. Two people can’t live together for many years without having arguments.

Many women believe that fighting is acceptable as long as there are no physical attacks. This is false. Regular action is not the same as extremist fighting. This is an indicator of a toxic marriage.

Are you and your partner a fighting couple? Are you a team that fights over everything, from the color of your sky to the time it takes to make dinner?

Are your battles rising quickly? Are you threatening each other? These battles are not solved. You retreat to your files and your corners.

If you describe how your fights develop above, you probably have a toxic marriage. A poisonous marriage is one where people can’t agree on everything but fight each other.


My husband and I had many secrets when we were married. I never spoke to him about my feelings toward him.

I didn’t prepare my son for his birth until he was five years old, and then I forgot to tell him. I had forgotten to pay my cable bill for three months and was shocked when it was finally cut. I was disgusted at how he wore short sleeves to work in summer. These were not the things I said to him.

I also spent a lot of time telling my friends the things I didn’t tell them.

They knew how brutal I was with him and were part of my decision not to vaccinate my children. My husband was my only option, but my friends were a great alternative.

This was all fine to me. None of these secrets was a problem. It wasn’t like I was trying to sneak into them. These secrets were what I felt from our marital anger and contempt.

Knowing this, I am well aware that secrets can destroy a marriage. Two people who choose to live together and cannot share small and big things can make their marriage toxic. They still betray them even if they think they are lying to protect their partner.

If you don’t worry about your partner’s every detail, even the ones that could make him mad if he finds out, you may be in a toxic marriage.


Your first instinct when your husband enters the room is to embrace him. Your wife will be more likely to choose you to take to the cinema than you are.

Is the first person willing to share the good news with you about the person you sleep with every night?

As marriage develops, husbands can become so comfortable with one another that they consider each other to be Muslims. Long marriages do not include hugging, dancing, or vacuuming time.

If you have a distance between yourself and your gel-like spouse, don’t touch each other, and choose to die over participating in any activity, you may be in a toxic relationship.

Healthy marriages are more physical. They enjoy their free time and settle in with each other’s wins and losses.

Consider the distance you have between yourself and your wife. You are likely in a toxic relationship if you think of Grand Canyon.


Silence is one of the most apparent signs of a toxic marriage.

Silence is a lack of communication. Silence is when grudges are held, and they are not released without payment. Silence is the inability to contact any form of meaning.

A healthy relationship will have two people who can communicate well. Communication is the key to keeping people in touch, whether it’s about dinner or your mother-in-law’s weekend.

Any chance for a happy and healthy relationship is lost when the connection ceases. It is possible to grow anger, resentment, and separation from the remaining silence. Words can’t be left without soup and payment.

When was the last time you and your partner had a meaningful conversation? Are you able to communicate with your partner when you are together? Or do you share the space in silence? You are most likely in a toxic relationship if you and your partner stop talking about everything, even the weather.

It is essential to recognize the warning signs of a toxic marriage before it is too late.

Are you and your partner good friends? Are you able to agree to things without fighting? Are you averse to sharing your secrets? Are you unable to communicate in a meaningful way?

If any of these are true, you might be a good choice for a toxic relationship. You may also want to get out or start working.